There are times when you let people down knowing or unknowing. But here I am sitting trying to write this up, because it’s just today I came to realise that I let my mother down.
Well a person does not just qualify as a mother just because they gave birth to you. It takes a lot of trust, care, love and selflessness to be one.
I was lucky enough to have two mothers in my life.
She is going through a tough time this week, because of few things and had posted a note on facebook that she is finding solace in bible. There were many of her friends commenting on it , saying all will be ok. So just to make sure that the situation does not get weird, I commented with her name instead of writing mom.
Being the kind of sociopath I am , at times it is hard to understand human emotions and how the things i say or write might affect people ( I still kick myself for not having this knowledge)
But then she became silent and was not responding to messages. Everyone has some kind of gut feeling that gives them an idea that a person close to you is know doing well. So I tried messaging mom, to know what is going wrong, because it was so unlike her .
It was when she opened up, did I realise my comment on facebook, made her feel that she is just another person that I talk and that I don’t consider her as a mom. She said
It struck that second, that would she have felt the same way, if I was a biological son of hers. Is this feeling is because I am just a namesake son.
But then I realised , I was not thinking straight. It is because , I was not successful enough to convince her, that she is my mom . May be my actions is not trustworthy. May be all I was able to show is I only go to her when I need help on anything in life and failed to show that she does mean a lot and is pillar in my life.
People say, the existence of a person in your life is defined by how you remember them. Guess I failed .. and let her down…. I am not questioning my ability of being a good son. May be I am not…